A question of feelings

I haven't answered a question for a while, so 'tis that time again - and it's a good and timely one, as so often they are.

I've been asked this - how do I feel in the run up to a book being published?

Excitement is the headline.  Not a day goes by without me thinking about it.  A seasonal comparison is that it's like having an extended advent calendar.  I do tend to mark off each day in my mind.

The publication date for the new tvdetective book - all being well with the editing etc. - is May 1st, so it's almost half a year's countdown.  That's quite some build up!

The other prevalent feeling is nervousness, which alternates with the excitement.  How will the book be received?  What will people say?  Is it worthy of being published at all?

I've developed what I've come to think of as a fear scale this year.  I'll explain it in the traditional reverse order.

At number three is being on TV.  That's nerve wracking enough, particularly when broadcasting live.  But at least the camera doesn't react to what you're saying.  It just stares at you, in its emotionless way.

At number two is the publication of a book.  I rate that as more nervy than TV, because it's such a personal thing.  It's impossible to write a novel without putting some of yourself in there, exposing a little of your soul.  And that's a scary thing to do.

But at least you're not actually sitting with the people as they read your offerings, which leads us on to...

At number one in the fear scale is writing a play and seeing it performed, as I was so lucky to experience this year.  Because then, not only are you exposing some of your inner self to public view, but you're also amongst the audience as they journey through it. 

And that means feeling every nuance of their reaction, whether you've designed a section to be funny, scary, emotional, dramatic or whatever, and seeing if it works the way you intended.

Now that is really unnerving. 

So, although I'm only on the mid-ranking of my fear index with the new book, it's tummy-wobbly plenty enough, I can assure you.  And there are still five months to go until publication. 

As a proud wordsmith, perhaps the best way I can sum it up is simply this -

Eek!

Don't forget, if you've got a question you want to ask about the tvdetective books, or any area of my writing work, you can get in touch via the contact page of the site - www.thetvdetective.com/contact.html